Telepathy is a Tricky Thing
by Fanatic Whovian Writer
Summary: The doctor decides to experiment with his telepathic powers on Sarah Jane. During the experiment, he sees something that Sarah Jane does not wish him to, but it does not stop the two from continuing their experiment into strengthening the telepathic connection. The doctor upgrades the experiment to include more than just memories and thoughts but something close to the Time Lords.
1. Experiments

**I came up with this idea, and it seemed a lot better in my head.  
I do warn you, I have not seen all of Fourth Doctor episodes,  
and only about half of those on Netflix with him, so I do hope  
it's not bad. I love Sarah Jane with a passion, and loved their  
relationship within the second episode in the first  
serial I watched with them "Ark in Space". I am one of the  
new Whovians, but I love the Classic series. I really hope  
it's not bad. The idea sounded much better in my head, I believe.**

**T just in case. Planned as a one shot, but may add more chapters later.**

It was one of those rare days where the doctor and Sarah Jane were not in trouble, or running for their lives, and instead, the two were inside the TARDIS, quietly reading their respected books in the library. It was quiet; Sarah Jane was reading a book from the future about a female journalist who fell in love with a man who later is found out to be dead, and a ghost, while the doctor was reading something in Gallifreyan, about the Time Lord body. Sarah Jane peered up at the doctor for a moment, thinking she might be able to tell what the book was about, but seeing it in a language the TARDIS did not translate, quickly looked back down at her book.

"Sarah," the doctor said without looking away from his book. Sarah Jane looked up from her book for a moment, seeing that he did not move, looked back before she responded.

"Yes, Doctor?" Sarah asked curiously continuing to read her book.

"I wish to conduct an experiment," the doctor stated, and Sarah Jane raised an eyebrow.

"And why are you telling me this? You never asked permission before," Sarah noted, turning the page, wanting to appear like she was reading, though she had lost all track of the words on the page and what was happening in the book in reality.

"I need a test subject," the doctor answered, flipping his page, like she had.

"And you want me to be your test subject," Sarah Jane replied, already knowing what he was going to say.

"Who else?" the doctor asked with a small smile appearing on his face, before he quickly rose from his chair, almost diving really out of it, and showing Sarah Jane a page in the book he was reading, which had a picture of a skull and the brain inside of it. "You see, Time Lords have telepathic powers, but humans do not."

"If we did, then I missed something huge," Sarah Jane replied, looking at the page, confused as to what he was requesting, or teaching or whatever he was doing. Sometimes she didn't understand him. Frankly, she didn't understand him a lot of the time.

"Time Lords have not really been able to establish a connection telepathically with a human, you see. A stray thought picked up here and there… However, I have a theory, after examining this book on Time Lords and others on humans, that such a connection is possible through physical touch," the doctor explained quickly looking at Sarah Jane, "I would like to try to see if it were possible."

"I understand… I think," Sarah Jane replied, "So you'll just be placing your hands on my head and try to establish a connection with me?"

"Exactly," the doctor replied with a nod, taking off his hat and setting it to the side, before taking his hand and hovering it over her head.

"Wait, you mean now?" Sarah Jane asked.

"What better time is there?" the doctor replied.

"Fine, fine," Sarah Jane sighed, setting her book to the side and placing her hands in her lap, ignoring his hovering hand over her head.

"It may hurt a bit, but not damage should occur," the doctor warned, and Sarah nodded in understanding. He placed his hand on the top of her head, and closed his eyes. Nothing seemed to happen, but the doctor remained concentrated. His hand began slowly moving around her head, like someone moving an antenna to get a better signal. It was messing up Sarah Jane's hair, and she wasn't happy about that.

"I just got my hair perfect," Sarah Jane complained, "Now you're messing it up." She was joking about it, of course, but also was fairly serious about the not happy with the messing up her hair.

"A necessary cost," the doctor replied continuing to feel around her head with his hand.

"A necessary cost?" Sarah Jane replied indignantly. The doctor took his free hand and placed one finger on her lips.

"I'm almost there," the doctor whispered, "Please be quiet, or it might ruin the connection." Sarah Jane sighed and looked at the doctor who was concentrating, placing his hand on her cheek. Sarah watched him, and felt a very strong urge to lean forward into his arms, thinking it would be much more comfortable with his arms around her instead of just sitting this close with just his hand on her cheek. She began to lean forward slightly before stopping herself. The slight movement caused the doctor's hand to slip a bit farther towards the back of her head.

"Just a little bit…" the doctor muttered, two of his fingers above her ear and two below her ear, "Maybe…" He took his free hand, placing his hand in the same position on the other side of her head, moving his fingers slightly around in little circles before stopping.

_Would you like a jelly baby, Sarah?_

"I would love one doctor," Sarah Jane huffed before smiling widely at the doctor, realizing he hadn't spoken, "You've done it!"

"Indeed I have," the doctor replied a huge grin on his face, standing up, and reaching into his pocket and pulling out his bag of jelly babies, and handing her one of the candies.

"Thank you, Doctor," Sarah Jane said happily accepting it and smiling before she popped it in her mouth and ate it. He kneeled back next to her and placed his hands back on her head like he had before and closed his eyes and concentrated. Sarah Jane also closed her eyes.

"I see several doors… If you don't want me to see something, just imagine shutting a door, and I won't look, well… maybe peek," the doctor said with his wide insane grin still on his face.

"You better not," Sarah Jane mumbled.

In the doctor's mind, he saw himself walking down a dark hall full of lit rooms to his side. The first door he walked towards, and looked in, seeing Sarah Jane and aunt, when she was a little girl. She was in a room that was quite messy and her aunt was telling her off for not picking it up. He heard the voice of the small Sarah Jane thinking, before responded with a snarky comeback about how it shouldn't be her job. She was smacked for that. Then Sarah Jane trudged around the room and began picking up the discarded toys.

Though finding the scene fairly interesting to watch, he decided to go to another door down a ways. While to an observer it might seem like a few seconds for him to travel down the hall, to him and Sarah Jane each exchange between doors only took a millisecond. He peered into another door and saw Sarah Jane crawling down the small passage in the human "ark" in space, crawling as fast as she could.

_Sarah, come on. Just keep going forward. Harry, Vira… The doctor. They're all counting on you. One arm forward, then the next, keep going. Your aunt is not right about you being useless. Come on, Sarah Jane Smith._

The thoughts filled the doctor's ears. He followed her, able to pass through the tunnel despite being too big thanks to the fact he was simply viewing the memory, not able to see anything that Sarah Jane before him could see, black everywhere else.

_No, no, no! I can't move. What will they think? I'll have failed them. I'm going to die. I can't… I can't let him know. I have to try._

There was silence as she tried to wedge herself out, but without any luck. The doctor watched her as she tried to work herself out, wishing he could help, knowing it was just a memory and knowing she just needed some encouragement, which should come anytime soon.

"Oh Doctor, I can't move!" Sarah spoke through the tunnel. The doctor chuckled before turning around and out the door. Very interesting this was, being in her mind.

_You know I can hear your thoughts too._

That was Sarah Jane speaking to him in thought. He chuckled and shook his head, sending her an affirmative thought before continuing on. Curious, the doctor thought seeing a door at the end which was locked up with very large locks.

"You know, the larger the locks, the easier they are to pick," the doctor informed her.

_I just wanted to make sure you saw them._

"I see, makes me wonder, what could it be?" the doctor mused watching the door.

_Curiosity, Doctor, you better watch it._

"I was merely theorizing," the doctor responded, taking his eyes away from the door, and coming upon another door opening it and looking inside. However, the sight behind the door was not one he expected, nor was it an actual memory. From the way the scene appeared it was obviously a dream at one point. That was not the surprising part. Dreams were simply memories the brain made that sometimes did not stick. No, that was expected to find. What was unexpected was what he saw.

It seemed like normal at first glance. The TARDIS control room, where he and Sarah Jane were. However, his scarf thrown across the console, and his arms were around Sarah Jane. The doctor raised an eyebrow.

"I've wanted to do this for a long time," the dream doctor said before he leaned close, their lips quite close to each other, as a door slammed in front of him.

His eyes opened, and removed his hands from Sarah Jane's face and looked at her curiously. "That wasn't what you think it is," Sarah Jane said blushing and turning her head away from him, hoping he wouldn't notice the blush if she looked away from him.

"What else could it be, Sarah?" the doctor asked, before adding, "I did not mean to see anything private, it is after all, a new experience for even me, to connect with a human like that."

"It was none of your concern," Sarah Jane huffed, standing up, "I'm going to bed."

"Sarah-" the doctor began, but she left the room, and the doctor shook his head, taking his book and sitting back down and reading more, and wrote a couple of things into it with a pencil.

The next day, the doctor was in the control room tinkering with the TARDIS controls, when Sarah Jane was about to come in, before reconsidering it.

"Sarah, you can come in," the doctor called to her, who behind him and just outside of the control room.

"I don't need your permission," Sarah Jane huffed and walked into the control room, across the panel from the doctor and leaned against it.

"Funny thing about Time Lords," the doctor said as soon as she was settled it, moving a little bit around the panel making a few adjustments, causing her to look at him, "We don't show affection the same way you humans do." Sarah Jane huffed and looked away, knowing that he would bring that up. And not the fact that she was completely unprepared for where he was going to look next in her mind, closing it before he could see too very much. After all, it was new for her too. "Time Lords do not kiss, or hug." Sarah Jane crossed her arms and looked as far away from him as he could. "We use our telepathic links to show it." The doctor moved a little more to his left, before bending down and opening a compartment under the console and flipping a switch and flashing his screwdriver at the panel he opened, before closing it again.

"What do you mean?" Sarah Jane asked curiously, still looking away from where he had been when she turned away from him.

"You humans kiss and hug, and have physical contact, while the Time Lords use their telepathic powers to send impulses through the body, to show their care for each other. The more one cares for someone, the stronger the impulse is," the doctor explained, moving a little more, now next to where Sarah Jane was leaning and looking away from him.

"So it makes the way you show affection impossible to do with us, stupid humans," Sarah Jane said staring intently at the wall of the ship.

"Sarah," the doctor said moving in front of her and smiling with his maniac grin, "What do you think yesterday was?"

"A look into my thoughts," Sarah Jane replied with a raised eyebrow, not looking away from the doctor this time.

"Yes, it was. But it was a telepathic connection, between Time Lord and human," the doctor replied.

"So what? Unless you have a girl back on Earth," Sarah Jane answered shaking her head.

"I do not have a girl back on Earth… I have a guy," the doctor said plainly.

"What?" Sarah Jane asked incredulously, "You're kidding me, and here I am..." The doctor chuckled at the response, to which Sarah Jane began to fume. "Why you little… You're just teasing me, aren't you?"

"Just a bit," the doctor replied, "I do not have anyone back on Earth, no. However, this is a new area I have yet to get into. I'll be the first Time Lord to connect like that with a human. Not that they would care. The Time Lords will probably hate me even more when they find out, but that does not matter. Humans are primitive species, after all."

"Oh thank you, Mr. Advanced Species," Sarah Jane said rolling her eyes.

"Humans are fascinating creatures, and it will be a very interesting experiment," the doctor said, taking Sarah Jane's hand, "And you made it possible."

"Would that happen to be a compliment?" Sarah Jane asked, his smile being quite contagious, and making her forget about the last bit of yesterday's experiment.

"Why, yes. I believe it is," the doctor said happily letting go of her hand and watching her, "Now, there is a favor I wish to ask of you."

"Let me guess," Sarah Jane said standing up straight and moving a little closer to the already close doctor, "You want to use me to experiment on?"

"No, I was going to ask if you could hand me those jelly babies," the doctor replied, pointing across the console at a bag of jelly babies. Sarah Jane looked at the bag and rolled her eyes.

"You can't get them yourself?" Sarah Jane asked with a chuckle, before reaching and grabbing them. She stole one and handed the bag to the doctor. The doctor quickly grabbed her hand before she ate it.

"Not the orange; they're my favorite," the doctor said, taking the jelly baby from her hand and eating it himself, before handing her a yellow one.

"But the yellow are rubbish!" Sarah Jane laughed.

"Shhhhh!" the doctor said placing two fingers on the side of the jelly baby, "You'll hurt its feelings." Sarah Jane laughed, before she reached for the jelly baby. "I don't think you deserve it. Don't you agree, jelly baby? See, it agrees with me." The doctor looked at the jelly baby with that crazy grin spread across his face. Sarah Jane snatched it from his hand and laughed.

"It says it wants me to eat it," Sarah Jane said shaking her head, "It seems you mistranslated."

"Me? Mistranslate? I think it's more likely you mistranslated, my dear, Sarah," the doctor replied, snatching the jelly baby back, before petting it, "Poor jelly baby."

"Oh shut up," Sarah Jane said taking the jelly baby quickly and eating it before he could snatch it back. The two laughed, for a little bit, before the laughter died, and the two watched each other, both smiling. The doctor broke the silence and cleared his throat, his face turning into his serious face.

"However, if you would like to, I would very much appreciate your cooperation, with my experiment," the doctor said bringing back the subject of his experiment, "Who better than a companion? Just think of all the explanations I would have to give to other humans. Might get in trouble. Actually, that does sound like fun."

"Fine," Sarah giggled, "You can perform your experiment with me. Just as long as it doesn't get to Time Lord sex."

"Of course not! The link wouldn't be strong enough anyways," the doctor replied, "That takes a lot of cooperation between the two. Though it is a good contraceptive to do that telepathically. Mating is much like humans, just not used as often."

"Anyways, what's first? More memory searching? I'll have to be sure to lock up everything before you do anything," Sarah said, changing the subject just slightly.

"Oh no, I have a much better idea," the doctor replied his insane grin returning.

"This should be fun," Sarah Jane replied, raising and lowering her eyebrows with a mischievous grin.

"Oh it will be. You stay here," the doctor ordered, before throwing an end of his scarf around his shoulder and hurrying out of the control room. Sarah shook her head, before she combed through her hair, looking at the center of the control panel as a mirror. Soon the doctor came hurrying back in with a huge book, placing it on the control panel, and opening it to a page and placing his finger on one of the pages.

"There, that's what is first," the doctor said. Sarah Jane looked and tried to read the page, but the TARDIS was not translating it. She rose an eyebrow and looked at the grinning doctor.

"I can't read it," Sarah Jane stated.

"Of course not. If you could, then I'd be worried," the doctor replied, before moving his hands towards her face, "Are you ready?"

"Before we do whatever that is," Sarah Jane said indicating the page he had opened up to, "I need to clarify. Are we doing Time Lord… romance?"

"Not all, no. Mostly transmitting of feelings, and sensations," the doctor replied with a nod, placing his hands on her face just like they had been just yesterday when the connection had been made, "I don't even know if it will work, what I'm planning on doing."

"Why not? You were able to explore my mind, yesterday," Sarah wondered.

"But the link is still very weak. In order to be able to have a strong enough link for distributing a sensation may take time," the doctor explained.

"Ok, I'm ready, then" Sarah Jane said with a smile. The doctor grinned back before he closed his eyes and concentrated. It wasn't before long that Sarah Jane began to feel an odd sensation all around her body. Like the flow of water in a river washing over her, but underneath the skin, and little fishes placing little kiss all around her. She was quite taken aback by the feeling, but did not move away from the doctor, feeling safer closer to him than farther away. It was not long before she began to get used to the feeling, while still odd, and oddly enjoying it.

She smiled and began to see if she could send the same sensation back to the doctor, through the link, wondering if the link was a two-way door, or even if just thinking about the right sensation would send it back. The response she got from the doctor was that he broke the connection, barely moving his hands to do so.

"That was… odd. Perhaps…" the doctor said studying Sarah Jane's face, before trailing off, "Perhaps the connection back-fired."

"No, Doctor, I was trying to see if I could send it back," Sarah Jane replied.

"Oh Sarah," the doctor said with a soft laugh, "I should have warned you. That is a connection that you make your own. You place your own spin on the sensation. Those who return your sensation are said to be rude." Sarah's eyes widened.

"I'm sorry!" Sarah apologized quickly.

"No, no, it's fine. You were ignorant. Anyways, I've never followed the rules, they always say I'm rude," the doctor replied with a laugh, "However, you face was priceless, Sarah."

"Doctor," Sarah replied playfully hitting his shoulder.

"I probably should have warned you," the doctor chuckled. The two chuckled for a moment, before silence fell. Sarah Jane studied the doctor's face, as did the doctor study hers.

"Doctor," Sarah said slowly, "Why did you want to use me as your test subject?"

"You're the only human aboard," the doctor replied simply.

"So if Harry were still here…" Sarah asked.

"Perhaps if you refused. It is much more fun with someone you are fond of," the doctor replied with a smile.

"You were fond of Harry, though," Sarah noted.

"Sarah," the doctor said firmly, "You would be my first choice, no matter who else were to be here."

"Why?" Sarah asked, hoping, but knowing her hopes were in vain.

"You're my best friend," the doctor replied.

"You're my best friend, too," Sarah said with a bit of deflation, but not enough to be noticeable.

"Would you like to know what the connection we just preformed was?" the doctor asked.

"I bet it's whatever that says," Sarah said pointing at the page the doctor had previously indicated.

"You're right! It's a Kuilit," the doctor moving towards the book, "You see, it's been awhile since I used the technique… ever since my years at the academy, and with such a weak connection, it had to be spot on to work."

"So you forgot," Sarah Jane laughed.

"No! I merely needed a reference," the doctor said defensively.

"Anyways, what would Kuilit be like for a human? The equivalent of humans doing what is a Kuilit among Time Lords?" Sarah Jane asked.

"A Kuilit… that would be like… a kiss," the doctor said thinking about it in his pauses.

"So, to you, it's like you just kissed me?" Sarah Jane asked.

"Yes, very similar," the doctor replied.

"If you get to kiss me in your way, then…" Sarah Jane began, before cutting herself off, and leaning towards him and kissing him on the lips for a moment. The doctor studied her curiously, before relaxing into the kiss, and wrapping his arms around her.

"Interesting," the doctor said, once the two pulled apart.

"Now we're even," Sarah Jane laughed before she moved away, and out of the control room, where she smiled a large grin.

"Sarah Jane Smith," the doctor chuckled before he began tinkering with the control panel once more. This experiment would be quite interesting.


	2. Aftermath

**Here's the aftermath. More telepathy will come next chapter, this is more of  
a what happened next sort of thing. I've also watched a good chunk more of Four  
so I do have a better hold on my view of Four than before.**

It was late at night, or what seemed like night, one really could never tell on the TARDIS, when the doctor was having a bit of a mental debate with himself in the control room as he tinkered on the TARDIS.

_What could it be? I know that I find Sarah physically attractive, and admire her brain. But there is something more about it. Every time I think about her, I get this…_

The doctor shook something off of him, like shivering some sort of odd feeling away from him.

_Just like that. I seem to lose focus whenever I think about her. That smile she has. The smell of her hair when I hug her. Her long slender legs. And her eyes. Oh her eyes were just beautiful. Fantastic and easy to get lost in, if he wasn't as in control of himself as he was. Lesser Time Lords would get lost in her eyes, but he managed to keep himself most times from doing so. That didn't lessen the effect of those beautiful orbs. _

The doctor realized he had stopped tinkering. He shook his head, clearing the images of Sarah from his mind.

_Think of something else. That usually works. The sonic screw driver's settings are correct, but now, place it over the wire to connect the two… _

The doctor took a breath through his nose and blinked a few times analyzing the fuzziness that affected his brain.

_It smells like Sarah. Oh that lovely smell. Why is it doing this to me? My thoughts were clouded for a moment when I inhaled it. Perhaps she picked up some hypnotizing perfume without realizing in on Rengatn. I'll have a talk with her later about it. Oh, but that smell. _

He took another breath in and smelled the air.

_It reminded him of her. Oh how he missed her despite her being just a short walk away. Perhaps he could wake her. No, that would be rude. He didn't want her to be grumpy and suffer from sleep deprivation. He rather her be happy than he be happy. _

_Have you thought that you could be in lo – _a voice began in the doctor's head.

_Time Lords don't fall in love._

_But you aren't any normal Time Lord._

_That does not matter. I've researched love before, and that is much different. _

_How?_

_Well, for starters, I don't only crave her body._

_You know, love isn't just wanting to procreate. _

_That is what causes our brains to act in such a way. Love is the body's way of attracting two people together to procreate._

_And do you feel the desire?_

_Just a bit, yeah. _

_Then you love her._

_No, I simply admire her and find her attractive. Love is not what I feel. It's something completely different. _

_Then why did you give Sarah a Time Lord kiss? _

_That was an experiment!_

_This is going nowhere. _

_Exactly. Please stop spouting nonsense._

_You are a very stubborn man. _

_We are, you mean?_

_No, I am much less stubborn than you._

_Yet you won't admit that even with the research I have done into love and you know how meticulous I have been about it, that what we feel is not love._

_Because you are wrong! _

_I am right. I'm always right. You're always wrong. I am logic and correctness while you are everything else. _

_Emotion. Yes, I know. I know what love is, but you, do not because it's my job to show you it. If you don't give me a chance to – _

_Shut up! Sarah's coming. _

The doctor quickly went back to work as the sound of Sarah's footsteps came towards the console room. The doctor jumped up and looked across the console at Sarah, suppressing the illogical emotion voice in his head, shooting her one of his lunatic smiles.

"Sleep well?" the doctor asked.

"Very well, Doctor," Sarah replied with a yawn, "Would you like to join me for breakfast?"

"Well, I still have to modulate the time converters…" the doctor began and saw Sarah's face fall, "But that can always wait." After all, he was going to live a lot longer than she did.

_You love-struck puppy._

The doctor promptly put up mental barriers to suppress the stupid voice insisting he loved a human. How absurd was that thought? Sure he cared for her, and wanted to make sure she was happy, but that did not mean love. Of course not.

"Bacon and Eggs?" Sarah asked a smile growing on her face at the doctor's answered.

"A side of toast, and I think we are in business," the doctor replied with a quick widening of his eyes before they returned back to normal, moving around the console, his scarf swishing around him. However, as he was getting to Sarah, his scarf caught hold of the unclosed panel he had been working on, causing him to trip. He fell before he could catch himself, right on top of Sarah, the pair toppling to the floor. The doctor grinned looking at Sarah's face below his, which blushed, before pushing himself up.

"Always a good day for a nice fall," the doctor said closing the panel to prevent anymore tripping onto people. The doctor helped Sarah up, which she responded with a hit on his shoulder. "What was that for?"

"For falling on me," Sarah replied with a huff.

"I didn't do it on purpose," the doctor replied his eyes wide looking at her. Sarah crossed her arms and began walking out of the console room. The doctor followed her with a large smile. The two settled in the dining area that the TARDIS already had all set, their food cooked by the TARDIS herself, and the doctor smiled at the table, though surprised.

"She's in a good mood, the TARDIS," Sarah chuckled, taking her seat across from where the doctor plopped himself down. The doctor took his fork, picking up some of his eggs, eating the white and the yolk the fork picked up. Sarah mirrored his movement but with a bit more flair with her fork and eating part (either that or the doctor just saw her eating in a more interesting way than eating himself). He looked at Sarah with a softer grin on his face, looking into her eyes. He nearly was lost in them, when was woken from it by an alarm bell from his control.

"Sarah," the doctor said looking at his food quickly, "I was wondering if you would like me to solve a problem."

"And Mr. Time Lord can't figure it out himself? What makes you think I would know?" Sarah asked with a laugh thinking the doctor was joking.

"You're much better at this sort of thing than I am," the doctor responded after taking another bite.

"Is it something to do with your telepathic experiment?" Sarah wondered.

"No, not at all," the doctor responded with a chuckle looking at Sarah with a genuine smile, a bit crazier than his soft smile he had when he nearly lost himself in her eyes.

"How's that going? We haven't continued our lessons from last time… I've been wondering what has been the matter," Sarah asked, "I hope it's not because I kissed you. That was just revenge, Doctor. I didn't mean anything…" Sarah caught the look of hilarity in his eyes and frowned. "Oh Doctor, you can be a real git sometimes."

"I don't know what you mean. I've been busy elsewhere to continue our little experiment," the doctor said picking up a piece of bacon and taking a bit of it.

"So… then what's this problem?" Sarah asked knowing she would not get anything else really from the doctor on the subject.

"While on Rengatn, did you pick up any perfume?" the doctor wondered.

"Ummm… I don't think so. Why?" Sarah asked curiously.

"Oh no reason really. I just need something from Rengatn for a process. I just needs the radiation things get from the surface," the doctor quickly said, lying, but also catching the faint whiff of her scent which she exuded. It was so… puzzling. Why did such simple smell affect him so? It was just a mixture of her banana coconut shampoo, and flowery perfume with a bit of something else. It wasn't like she was giving off pheromones that would affect him. No other human managed to penetrate his fortress with them, so why would it be different for her? It was such a curious thing.

"Oh… well, maybe we should go back. I don't remembering getting anything," Sarah replied with a bit of a thought looking into the air before looking back at the doctor taking a bite of her toast.

"I see," the doctor replied with a nod.

"Why does the radiation matter? Didn't you say that Rengatn was known for their airborne hormones, which is why our trip was so short? Why would the TARDIS need any of that?" Sarah asked curiously.

"Well, you see Sarah, the TARDIS is going through a phase where it needs those hormones. Call it adolescence, or whatever. It's in a stage where it needs something like that," the doctor said, and was actually fairly truthful. The TARDIS had reached adolescence, which was something that almost never happened with a TARDIS as it took so long to reach, usually dead before it would reach the stage. But his TARDIS was a survivor and despite its age, it was planning on living for a long time, perhaps even to old age. No TARDIS had ever really done that before.

"Really? I didn't realize the TARDIS had stages like that," Sarah said a bit shocked by the realization, "Is there anything wrong with her otherwise?"

"Other than the time converters, tellurian relays, magna depositors, the…" the doctor began before he saw Sarah's face and continued on, "Nothing that wasn't wrong before."

"Good," Sarah said happily looking around her at the walls, "I really hope she gets over this adolescence. I remember when I was a teenager. Fell in love with my English professor at one point. I got my heart broken, even though I knew he was married… Have you ever been in love?"

"No," the doctor answered simply.

"I'm sorry for asking you that, it just slipped out. It was a very personal question," Sarah said quickly.

"It's simple curiosity which you humans are full of. It was a very straightforward question. But, no, Sarah, I have never been in love," the doctor answered with a grin on his face.

"But… never? You've never loved someone?" Sarah asked incredulously.

"Time Lords don't love," the doctor answered simply. Sarah looked taken aback. She knew he was alien, but not loving was a bit too alien than she could have imagined.

"What about marriages? Babies? Time Lords don't even love their own children?" Sarah asked.

"No, we don't," the doctor answered quickly, "We care for our mates and our children, but we cannot love. Our brains do not function that way. We evolved from falling in love."

"More like devolved!" Sarah said a bit sharply, "If you can't love, then what is life good for? I mean adventure and discovery is fun, but loving doing those things makes life just that much better. Being with someone who makes your heart flutter every time you are around them, hearing their voice just making your feel better… Not even just other people, but things, doing things. Love is essential to enjoying life, Doctor. If you cannot love… then… I really am sorry for you." The doctor looked at her curiously.

"I don't understand," the doctor said for the first time to Sarah's ears making her extremely excited and a bit worried. "Love is the way that your body initiates the attraction to procreation with someone else. Time Lords have weeded out that need and have offspring in looms or to make sure to have enough babies for the next generation. It is a calculated matter, and love has no function in our society anymore."

"Love isn't that," Sarah replied.

"According to my research into the matter…" the doctor began, but was cut off.

"Love isn't something you can read about in a book. It's something you have to experience to understand, and even then you don't understand how you could love a thick-headed person, but you just do," Sarah replied biting her lower lip to think of how to describe what love is to the doctor.

"Love… Love is something you are afraid to lose," Sarah said slowly looking at the doctor with a look like that of someone trying to explain death to a child, "If you love something, it hurts when you lose it. Even when you know you will see it again, you miss it in the meantime. I'm sure you love something, I know you do. Like… your TARDIS. If it was destroyed on our next stop, how would you feel?"

"I would feel sorrow, but I would carry on. I would apologize for stranding you wherever we landed," the doctor replied simply.

"Would you wish that she was back?" Sarah asked.

"Of course I would, Sarah. I care about her," the doctor answered indignantly, "I am not some heartless tyrant. I care about her, but that does not mean I love my TARDIS!"

"Doctor…" Sarah sighed not knowing how to describe love much more, "You don't have to want to procreate with it to love it. There are different kinds of love. One is, of course, based on the procreation instinct, but there is the love of a friend. Like how I care about you, and don't want you to die. Or how sad I felt when my parents died. Or… how you always seem to protect me. It isn't out of obligation, right Doctor, but because you consider me a good friend."

"I know how friendship works, Sarah. But one does not love friends," the doctor replied leaning back shaking his head.

"Yes they do! Love is… tender affection. Where you care about something and care for that thing with care and gentleness," Sarah asserted, leaning forward towards the doctor, "Love isn't just for procreation, it is caring deeply for something or someone." The doctor looked at her for a few moments. Silence fell. Sarah looked at him curiously trying to read what was behind those mysterious large blue eyes, but she couldn't see anything.

"I think I need to get back to caring for the TARDIS. We'll head to Rengatn once I finish with the time modulators," the doctor said standing up and walking out of the door.

"Doctor!" Sarah shouted after him, "We're not finished talking!" She strode after him.

"I am very curious in your definition of love; you can still talk, I just need to work," the doctor stated. She had to speed walk to keep up with him.

"Doctor!" Sarah said walking with him towards the control room of the TARDIS, "Love is what I feel for you!" The doctor stopped in his tracks and looked towards Sarah. She covered her mouth, having not even realized she had said it.

"You love me?" the doctor asked.

"I-I…" Sarah stumbled, trying to get ahold of herself.

"I never thought this daft old face would be thought of as attractive," the doctor said with a grin on his face, "The big bug eyes; the glop of brown hair."

"Doctor… I was serious," Sarah managed to say with a frown on her face.

"Of course you were. I am merely surprised that I would be considered a suitable mate," the doctor replied throwing an end of his scarf behind him.

"It's not like that, completely," Sarah said softly, "It's not appearance. It's all personality. You are extremely kind, and intelligent. You care so much, but you just don't realize that you love the universe. Sometimes you seem to lack some common sense, and you can be an arrogant self-absorbed git, but you are you. And… and I love it. Everything about you, even the things that frustrate me."

"I see," the doctor responded and turned back down the corridor towards the console room, "Back to work now." Sarah huffed and crossed her arms following him.

"I just confessed that I love you and that's all you have to say?" Sarah asked frustrated.

"Yeah, sounds about right," the doctor replied reaching the console room and walking to the panel he was working on before and opening the panel.

"I hate you, sometimes," Sarah huffed, "If you want to talk to me, don't bother!" Sarah stormed from the room and down the hall.

_Look at what you did. You upset her!_

_I thought I blocked you. _

_I am a lot stronger than you think, especially now that you've gone and upset someone you love. _

_I don't love Sarah. I know she believes that she loves me, but that's just the irrational human hormones coming out in her. No one could really ever love me, and even if they thought they did, it isn't really true. _

_No one could love the Great Doctor? In his massive intelligence and ego. _

_I cannot love, therefore no one can truly love me._

_But as Sarah said, you do love. You just don't realize it. _

_She is simply wrong. _

_What if she's right? Think of how much more fulfilled you could be with that feeling! Happy just being with her, being able to act upon those feelings. _

_Those feelings that was nonexistent. She just needs time to cool off on her own. _

The doctor sighed and continued working on the TARDIS. The TARDIS seemed upset, but the doctor could not really communicate with her to find out why. Probably needing those Rengatn radiation to quell the adolescent hormones coursing through her. Then again, the TARDIS was ageless and the adolescence was just his theory from his observations, but he was fairly sure he was right. In dealing with the TARDIS and Sarah. Just time to let her cool off and see that she is wrong, or at least accept that he would not adhere to her view of love.


	3. Emotion Thwarts Logic

**Here's the chapter when things get rated T, just so you know.  
Also, don't worry, it won't ever go too much passed this, never  
going to be rated M, but there will be implied things later.**

The doctor was walking through the TARDIS, looking for the sonic screwdriver which he had set down for just a moment, but the TARDIS seemed to have moved it. However, he could swear he was walking by the same corridor several times. And he knew of only one person who used the rooms in the corridor. He looked at the walls and sighed shaking his head. He finally stopped by a door and knocked.

"Sarah," the doctor said through the door, "I need your help." No answer. The doctor shook his head and looked at the walls again. "She won't listen to me; why trap me here?" he asked the ship. He knocked again. "Sarah, would you please talk to me?" Still no answer. The doctor stood there impatiently glaring at the ship. However, soon the door opened and Sarah glared at him.

"What do you want?" Sarah asked frowning, quite angry at the moment, even hours after the incident.

"Just to talk to you," the doctor answered.

"That's always what you do, talk. You try to make others see the universe the way you do, but you refuse to look at it from others' view," Sarah huffed, slamming the door, which the doctor barely caught, and opened once more, his hand hurting from the slam.

"Sarah, I'm a Time Lord, that's how we are. We are the highest of the Gallifreyans," the doctor explained, watching as Sarah sat down on her bed, "We are not always right, but there are matters that we know we are correct in. I know I am correct when it comes to love."

"So you won't even give the view I have a second look," Sarah said glaring at the doctor.

"Of course I will. I have reviewed it many times, but every time, I come up with the conclusion that you are incorrect," the doctor replied not daring to take a step into her room.

"Oh? How do you come up with that?" Sarah asked walking back to the door.

"What else would love be used for, besides procreation?" the doctor answered with a question.

"For happiness, for caring for others, for something besides your own body," Sarah replied spitting out each word.

"Perhaps for humans," the doctor replied, "But for Time Lords, that is all that love is good for. When a Time Lord falls in love, there is a bond that is created. It can never be broken, and the Time Lord will always love that person until their death. That is why my people have bred the feeling out of our people. When the bond is formed, there is nothing higher than preserving the one they love. Even if it means breaking the rules or destroying the universe in the process." Sarah watched the doctor curiously listening to what he was saying. "Each regeneration can fall in love only once, but with a new regeneration, the bond remains, but another may be formed, and the previous love feels different… Sarah, I made the mistake of falling in love once before. In my last regeneration." Sarah stared at the doctor's eyes, listening to the sound of his voice, wanting to respond, but unable to do so.

"I want to show you something," the doctor said switching gears.

"Come in," Sarah offered him. The doctor looked at her nervously before taking a step in. The two walked over to her bed and sat down. The doctor turned his body towards her and placed his hands on her head as he had done when he had discovered the perfect way to channel the telepathic power with humans.

_Sarah looked around, now in darkness, the doctor no longer with her. She walked forward, and began calling for him. He answered her call and approached her. _

"_Sarah," the doctor said, "This is my mind." _

"_Why is it so empty?" Sarah asked, as the lights seemed to turn on and reveal a room with bright white walls. _

"_I've consolidated everything that goes on in my mind," the doctor explained as a second doctor and a third emerged from behind the first, "Two sides remain. Logic and Emotion." The left he gestured as Logic and the right as Emotion._

"_Shut up, you," Emotion said, approaching her, "Are you alright? I know this must be a shock to you, because _somebody _didn't tell you what to expect." The doctor looked back at Logic with a glare before looking at her with such softness. Logic approached, pulling Emotion back and holding Emotion by Logic. _

"_Both have a bit of each other, and I am a mixture of them both," the original doctor explained. _

"_So you're like a yin and yang symbol?" Sarah asked. _

"_Similarly, yes. However, in both of their logic, they know that falling in love would not be logical," the doctor explained. _

"_But she deserves to know!" Emotion stated, struggling to get away from Logic's grip. _

"_She doesn't need to know, it would just hurt her," Logic replied calmly, still holding Emotion tightly. _

"_Know what?" Sarah asked confused looking at the three doctors. _

"_A Time Lord should beware of falling in love with the same person more than once," Emotion replied, getting free, and running up to her. Logic ran to retrieve Emotion, but managed to pull Sarah into a hug. "But it's too late. Logic doesn't want to admit it," he whispered in her ear._

"_Because it's not true," Logic said, pulling Emotion from Sarah, who was completely confused, and a bit surprised by the hug and being pulled from the hug. "A Time Lord cannot fall in love like that twice with the same person." _

"_I loved you," Emotion stated and Logic glared at him, "I loved you before I regenerated." _

"_Doctor…" Sarah said softly. _

"_And I love you now, but he," Emotion gestured Logic, "Won't let him," he gestured the original doctor, "Admit it." _

"_There is no logic in it. I have already explained this in detail," Logic stated. _

"_But you admit we loved her before," Emotion pointed out. _

"_Yes, because the feeling changed when we regenerated into him," Logic pointed to the original doctor who was silent and watching Sarah. _

"_Which means you won't admit it until we regenerate and the feeling changes again," Emotion nearly shouted at Logic. _

"_Where is the proof, otherwise?" Logic pointed out. _

"_Me! Love is an emotion, I am emotion. Love is not logical!" Emotion answered. _

The doctor released the connection and looked into Sarah's eyes, and she looked back at him. The two stared at each other for a few moments before one of them spoke.

"Do you understand now?" The doctor asked.

"You keep fighting yourself about this," Sarah answered, "But you are scared to love me again because… of something."

"Exactly," the doctor replied, "Because if a Time Lord falls in love twice with the same person in different incarnations, then the feeling of that love will never change, and the obsession will continue forever. I will live for much longer than you, and if you were to die, the pain would be too much for me to handle."

"Doctor…" Sarah began, but the doctor cut her off.

"I cannot allow myself to love you," the doctor continued, "I don't know if I could ever love again if I do."

"Has a Time Lord ever done that before?" Sarah asked.

"No, not that has been recorded," the doctor answered.

"How do you know, then?" Sarah inquired.

"That's how it is," the doctor responded.

"Your… emotional side said it was too late," Sarah pointed out.

"That's… because I care very much about you already. I… think I may already love you," the doctor admitted looking down at the bed they were sitting on. Sarah pushed his head up with a finger on his chin and leaned forward, kissing his lips carefully. He watched her curiously for a moment, before he responded, kissing her back.

"You know, I never saw the attraction of kissing," the doctor stated pulling back for a moment, "Ever since you kissed me before I've been wondering what was so great about it." He kissed her this time, quieting down for a moment as their lips were connected, before pulling back just a millimeter, speaking again. "But now I can see the enjoyment. No wonder you humans do it all the time." Sarah laughed, their mouths close together.

"You know, any normal lady would be extremely cross that you keep talking when there is snogging to be done," Sarah said softly, kissing him for a moment, before continuing, "But luckily, I love hearing your voice."

"You aren't a normal lady," the doctor noted with a smile over his face, kissing her neck and down to her hand before returning to her lips, his tongue wrestling with hers, and his hands roaming her back. In his head, Logic was trying to pound through, but Emotion had been playing weak for a while, waiting for a moment like this to seize control from Logic. Sarah pulled back for a moment.

"Doctor, are you sure?" Sarah asked, "If we continue this, you may not ever love again."

"I know," the doctor answered staring into her eyes, "But it's already too late, Sarah. I love you." She stared at him, wondering what had happened in his head to cause this. Emotion had seemed to want to tell her things like this, and perhaps that side of the doctor had taken control. But that meant it was still not Logical for him to admit it. Perhaps Emotion just believed he loved her, but whatever Time Lords considered love may be different from what he was actually feeling. She knew she loved him, but she wasn't sure if he really knew what it meant, or if he had adopted what she thought love as.

"My love, or your kind of love?" Sarah asked, leaning away from him as he went to kiss her again. He watched her curiously.

"Both," the doctor answered, "If you were to leave me, I would be heartbroken. Now that you are with me, life without you seems like a life not worth living." She smiled, leaning back, wrapping her arms around his back, one of them snaking through his brown curls as the two began their battle of the tongues once more.


End file.
